All About Presence
This past year has been a great deal of learning for me. I want to distill a few of my learnings on presence & flow state here. Through that, I'd also like to share examples from pop culture, more personal stories, and what these ideas actually implicate for the future.
Erlich Bachman
Erlich is an endearingly arrogant asshole, but more than that, he's a character we see relating to employees, investors, business partners on a level unmatched by anyone else in Silicon Valley. Some might see his personality as grating, he might be perceived as a diva, even crude at times, but those are precisely the qualities that make him such an excellent incubation manager and key member of Pied Piper. Bachman's journey starts with his purchase of the airfare collator Aviato, which he eventually sells to turn his home into a startup incubator. Over time, he joins the Pied Piper team as their first PR hire, eventually becoming the face of the company. Despite his frequent use of inventive insults, his brash behavior, and his utter lack of technical contribution to the team, Erlich is able to pave the way for Pied Piper's passage into the early 2010s startup world, securing several rounds of funding, entries into prestigious tech conferences like TechCrunch Disrupt, and partnerships with the senior mentors of Silicon Valley, all through his confidence, passion, and undeniable charisma.
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg of course needs no introduction. But what has been so intriguing is his shift in perception from "robotic, reptilian, soulless tech executive" to "down to earth, relatable, hip guy." He's become the face of Meta, appearing more and more frequently in speaking engagements, product releases, interviews, and even talking to the camera in most of his Instagram reels. I believe the most significant factors in this shift are his appearances in front of the camera, specifically the presence he exhibits. He's smiling more, he's relaxed, he's showing you, us, Meta's products. Mark Zuckerberg has always had these characteristics, but only now is he using his personality as the asset that it ultimately is. If you go back and watch footage from his days at Harvard, or his speaking engagements where he shares stories about Priscilla and himself, you'd see that he conducts himself very well. He's lucid, articulate, poised. He tells interesting stories, and typically, everyone else's attention is focused on him when he's speaking. One thing we know for certain, is that the guy deeply loves his wife and his company.
Ken Takakura
**DANDADAN SPOILERS**
Ken Takakura is the male protagonist of Dandadan, a Japanese manga series and anime adaptation that premiered in October. While introduced as a meek otaku, he grows over the course of the anime into a strong, dependable, and increasingly insightful hero. The show begins when an argument ensues between Ken and Momo Ayase (the female protagonist), over the existence of aliens and ghosts. Ken holds a strong conviction over the existence of aliens, in fact, one of his main pastimes is reading books about extraterrestrial sightings. The two main characters challenge one another to visit hotspots for their respective supernatural entities, after which Ken becomes possessed and must fight to regain control over his body. We see that even through a great deal of suffering, his passion for learning about aliens never fades, his conviction for making friends never fades, and his eagerness to explore Kamigoe City only grows, despite numerous encounters with the paranormal. Ken Takakura reminds us that even the most unassuming characters can possess an inner strength and authenticity that inspire growth and connection. Even though he was presented as a meek otaku, we see that his charisma & depth were always present and continue to guide him on his journey throughout the show.
So What Does This Mean?
We should ask, then, what do these people have in common? And, why should you care?
If you've ever seen a reporter ask Steph Curry, "how do you get into a flow state?" you'd see him refusing to answer the question, citing with a chuckle that the answer is private information. It makes sense though. Flow state is something all world-class people exhibit, and it's something we can see by observing their presence. If you pay attention to how they conduct themselves, their rituals, their habits, the roles they play in social situations, you would see the same thing every time. These kinds of people have a unique ability to shut out the world around them, to summon complete mindfulness at will. It's how some people can make you feel like you're the only person in the room, no, the world, when they talk to you. It's the difference between surface-level interview-like conversations, and interactions that make your soul feel seen in the warmest, best way. It's how world-class athletes can block out the ambient noise of the crowd, the pressure of competing in the Olympics while they're still in their prime physical shape, or the stakes that come with playing a world championship game.
I would say that conviction is the catalyst for presence, and in turn, great power both interpersonally and physically. Ultimately, presence and flow state are connected by one's ability to summon and maintain a high level of mindfulness for an extended period of time. You need conviction to do this.
Marcus Aurelius famously said,
Concentrate every minute like a Roman- like a man- on doing what's in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can- if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered , irritable. You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this, that's all even the gods can ask of you.
And as I've embarked on this journey of surrounding myself with new information on what it means to be present, this quote has resonated with me, not only because I agree with its sentiment, but also because I've experienced both sides recently in my own life. Aurelius was a Stoic philosopher who believed in virtue and reasoning as a source of happiness. Lately, I have also found myself aspiring to align more to the ideas of Stoicism, that regardless of the outcome(s), however important or unimportant, you can find happiness in simply doing the right things. Before this, I found myself practicing more of what most would consider skepticism, where instead of focusing on what were considered moral actions, I would suspend my judgment of what I did not know. To question and argue all sides, regardless of moral implication. I'd find myself withdrawing, my mind would wander, days would go by aimlessly, and consequently, I became neurotic, irritable, impulsive. These behaviors would seep into my relationships & my overall life satisfaction, affecting both negatively. As I reflect on the state of my satisfaction (as defined by Aurelius) to the state of my relationships over time, I do see a strong correlation. No doubt my goals, pursuits, and actions through which I live my life are all contributing factors. Fortunately, I have been able to find some new direction, in line with Aurelius's quote. It has been easier to stay grounded with focusing on less details, by being selective in my reactivity, but approaching the details I choose to focus on to the best of my ability, simply because I believe they will create good in some form. This has helped me become more mindful.
To be honest, I don't really compare to the level of world-class flow state. Sometimes, I can summon perfect mindfulness for an hour or two, but not at will or over a sustained period. Even worse, I stop trying to summon mindfulness at times because it's too difficult a task - I have too much going on, I'm surrounded by other stimuli, I'm feeling cognitive overload from multiple areas of my life and so I succumb to the cacophonous reality that so greedily occupies my headspace. But I do believe such a level of control over your flow state is something to aspire to. I think it has wonderful benefits, ones that can make anyone great, that can produce change in anyone's life.
I hope this post wasn't too much word salad - I'm still learning how to blog here. I also hope you learned something!